NATURAL BODY
by KittyLuffy
Summary: Sanji is in love with Luffy, but he missed his chance! Multiple stories from Sanji's POV explaining how he had to deal with the fact he's not Luffy's lover. Shonen Ai and Yaoi... eventually, as usual for me...: San-Lu and ZoXLu!
1. Initial

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece. Really, I don't. Please believe me!

KittyLuffy: I'll go over everything later.

Point of View(POV): Sanji  
>Warnings: Yaoi<p>

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><p><em>NATURAL BODY<em>

Initial

It's not like I had much of a chance anyway. If I had come first, maybe he would have given me more of a thought. Even then, would he have formed a deep bond with me to the point where our scents could mix together and our worlds possibly mesh into one dream? Now, the more I think about it, our relationship would probably be out of the ordinary. What I have to view always seems like the only natural thing. His love for that other person makes sense to all who hear it, catch sight of it, feel the pull of it. That is why I hate it.

I occasionally wish I were able to switch bodies with the one he loves most. Maybe that would be the time those loving, laughing eyes would be aimed up at me. But it would only be a lie. If I were to say my true emotions through another's lips, it would be a cruel deception. No, the time to give up is now. He will never rest in my arms or allow me make pure love to him. There is another who has the finest lover on the sea, in the entire world. I want to be the one to understand it, now that my time has passed. Yet, that is impossible without losing the ability to withstand his alluring pull. That is why I hate it.


	2. THAT DAY THE SCENTS WERE FIRST MIXED

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece, Sanji, Luffy, Zoro, Nami, or Usopp. That's good.

Summary: That Day was the beginning of a love Sanji could not stop.  
>Warnings: San-Lu, ZoXLu, Sanji swearing, Sad Fic<p>

KittyLuffy: Hello, everyone.  
>Kaya: Hello, readers.<br>KittyLuffy: I am here with SanLu fan Kaya. We will be hosting _NATURAL BODY_.  
>Kaya: It really is a beautiful idea. I really wish Robin and Usopp were here with us.<br>KittyLuffy: Why those two?  
>Kaya: Robin because she likes melancholy things and ZoLu. Usopp because I just wanna hug him right now.<br>KittyLuffy: Kaya, please let everyone know the special thing about this fic.  
>Kaya: Okay. <strong>For <em>NATURAL BODY<em>, all dialogue and thoughts are in italics for the flow of the story. This is not a typo or mistake. **  
>KittyLuffy: Okay then. Please enjoy this first memory in the <em>NATURAL BODY<em> series.

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><p><em>NATURAL BODY <em>

THAT DAY THE SCENTS  
>WERE FIRST<br>MIXED

No one but Zoro got to hear those first three little words. He told no one about them or what his reply was. In more ways than I can count, he didn't need to. Even if it was _I like you_, rather than, _I love you_, what the initial push was didn't matter. After that day, Luffy was no longer a singular person.

To me, a cook who must take into consideration everything about the ingredients for a delicious meal, noticing things is a specialty of mine. Not many know I have this silent talent because I enjoy summing things up by myself. Luffy dashed into my kitchen and insisted we have a feast that night. The joyful gleam in his eyes was not for the food I would be slaving over, but in celebration of his new accomplishment.

It didn't come to me slowly, a whiff of the familiar scent I loved dearly. A gust of sea breeze wafted the sweet smell to my nose and filled my lungs with it. First, I was stunned. Then, I was confused. Finally, I was enraged. A new scent was clinging onto Luffy's skin. The aroma of my captain was accompanied by a bitter stench of a certain green-haired man who was nowhere near my safe haven. Why was Zoro's scent sticking to Luffy? My jealous anger made me bite the cigarette that was in my mouth.

Usopp was wide-eyed at the table. He saw me crushing the life out of my smoke, so came to the assumption that the idea of a feast was channeling through my head as a terrible plan. He thought he was backing me up by telling me that I didn't have enough items in the storage hold to make a sizable spread anyway.

My mind was bubbling up a hatred that made me notice more than was probably there. Luffy's aura shone brighter than usual, ecstatic about something that must have had to do with Zoro's scent and three little words. _Luffy, get lost_, I spat at him, _starve to death_. Two sets of the wrong three little words. Yet, they didn't do any damage. He would have looked hurt if he were alone like before that day. My bitterness made me lose my cigarette to the ground as I flared up and told him that, no matter what, he wasn't going to get snack. He would have fought my unfair words if he were alone like before that day. Instead, he smiled like there was nothing anyone could say to knock him down. Before running out of the kitchen, Luffy told Usopp that there would be no time for hide-and-seek. It was almost as if I were being left behind and tossed away like the midday tart.

Before I started the lunch dishes from our crew of five, I entrusted the oven's contents to Usopp so I could find out if what I had smelled was true. Zoro's musky scent had been tainting Luffy like a toxic sap that would not come off. The shitty stench usually disappeared, just like Usopp's or mine. Why it was not gone had my heart racing.

I could not light another cigarette on my short search. My presence would instantly be known long before I reached the correct location because the wind was sweeping around in a playful manner, pushing the Going Merry onward towards anything we might run into. It wasn't too far into my walk before I came upon Nami-san. She was reading a newspaper under the sun and sky that day, quite absorbed in the written word. As not to disturb her peace, I tried to sneak carefully to the hatch that led down to the men's sleeping quarters.

The paper slapped shut on her bare knees as Nami-san turned her head to watch me. She asked what I was planning to do so soon after lunch. Her expression seemed a bit worried when I told her that I was going for a quick rest. Nami-san let me know that she thought the crew could do without midday snack. No one would win if that happened. My feelings would have been shameful. I gave her a flirting smile, saying I had changed my mind.

While I started back to the kitchen, I did not expect an answer such as the one I received. _It's not something to worry that much over_, Nami-swan stated while reopening the news, _there's always tomorrow_. How I wished to apply those words not only to the snack already cooking in the oven, but also to my chances. The chance to murmur those three little words that were supposed to come from my mouth and make Luffy mine. The fact he might have beaten me by stating them to Zoro crushed my heart tenfold. If there was only a time before that day. If only I always had tomorrow.

Usopp was attempting to put on oven mitts when I entered my workspace. He panicked when the timer rang its way off the counter and hit the floor, still making noise. I told him to get out of the way and thanked him for being a great help. It took a small shove away from the hot oven to get the long-nose to move. Picking up the timer, he mumbled something about being welcome before stopping the ringing. I swore as I took out the fruit tart shells and set them on the counter. Most of the time, I never thanked Usopp for anything he did for me, which was a lot usually. That bit of gratitude had slipped from my lips and brought to his attention something off about me. His senses were too dull to notice things such as Zoro's scent upon Luffy's body, but the sniper was bright enough to read words and movements.

He asked, with a face as worried as Nami-swan's, if I was okay. I had smoked in the mikan** bushes for over twenty minutes to avoid everyone and I suppose that was a bit too long. Usopp saw, when I swung my hip, the cloth bag filled with mikan, but his concern did not waver. It wasn't like me to thank him for such a small task after all. I told him to get his ass out of my kitchen and keep Nami-san company until snack was ready an hour later. He put the timer down carefully before stepping quickly to the door. Amazingly, he knew I wanted some more alone time, so shut the door in his wake.

As I left the oven to cool, I released a breath. There was a rip in my composure that I needed to fix before three. By doing some calming dishwashing, hopefully I could patch myself up. Maybe by cutting and glazing the fruit from my bag and the fridge, I could forget about Luffy's smiling face as he stared lovingly at someone who was not I. Yes, that was what I hoped, and that is what I hated in that moment. I would not let such a happiness come to pass.

When snack time came that day, it was right on time. It is not always at three in the afternoon, but when it is, I can forget my name on his lips. _Sanji_, he likes calling out,_ Sanji, Sanji, it's snack time_! Yes, it is three o'clock*. _Three o'clock_, his voice is not for me, _three o'clock, three o'clock, it's snack time_! Yes, I am Sanji, but that day it didn't matter. He did not come to eat, just as I had imagined.

First, I carried out Nami-san's platter. She must always receive her food before the others because she is a lady. Even if I politely fawn over her beauty and her elegance, it is only a common courtesy. Zeff told me, with a straight face, that no matter how much I could love a man, it was worse than death, the punishment for not keeping a woman happy and feeling most important. _No matter how much you dislike them, you must do your best for them everywhere other than the bedroom_, he had insisted with a small chuckle. I have kept my promise to that old geezer and take pride in my job. It is no longer like a task I must remember to perform. Gently making a woman feel like she is worth more than the world is natural for me. That must be the aura I must give off around the one I love. A simplistic ladies' man yearning for a romance spelled out in fairytales. For sure, Luffy will never be willing to be my princess, which makes it easier for him to slip into the role as King Zoro's prince.

Nami-swan had finished her paper and was resting in her room, a map half completed on her work desk. She smiled and rose from where she lay when I entered after lightly knocking. Into her delicate hands, she took the crème soda from the tray I held out. As an unexplained game between us, Nami-san always tastes her drink and compliments me before I move on to the others. I believe it was her way of flattering me at the time, since my devotion to her was mostly unwavering.

That day, she sipped the golden liquid through the clear straw and sighed joyfully. _Sanji-kun_, her grin moved, _this is absolutely delicious_. In a daze, I nodded. Nami-san continued further by spooning out a few pieces of glazed fruit from the tart. _Oh_, she gasped while covering her mouth, _even with week-old fridge food, you masterfully put together such a wonderful tart_. With a bow, I set down the tray onto her bedside table and turned to leave. Before I could go back to my kitchen, Nami-swan grabbed my sleeve and had me facing her again. Her eyes were fierce as she put our foreheads together. Truly, I had no sickness. I have never gotten a common cold or a fever and that day was no exception. _I don't understand_, she whispered as she pushed me away, _but whatever has you thanking Usopp and not trying to be modest must be more than anything I can fix_. My startled stare and instant frown made her aura become troubled. We were quiet in an unexplainable puzzle of figuring out feelings. Finally, she spoke._ No matter what resolve you come to by the end of the day, you are not to make snack tomorrow, Sanji-kun_, Nami-swan stated.

Breaking my silence, I did not apologize for ruining her afternoon good mood. Instead, I thanked her for her words. _Thank you, Nami-san_, I said while gazing straight into her eyes;_ that will be a lot to get off my shoulders. As you command, I will not make snack tomorrow. Still, we are planning ahead, so I must deliver today's snack as I should_. Nami-swan told me not to release the news about the snack-less tomorrow before she let me leave. I am sure she could not figure out what was bothering me; nonetheless, she wanted to help in any small way she could. It was terrible of me to make a woman worry, but my skull was filled with too many negative emotions.

With no real effort, I carried the remaining four tarts out of the kitchen, two on each platter. I found Usopp in the men's bunks, busying himself with slingshot practice. He accepted a tray of tarts with a nervous smile, laughing that his life depended on no one telling Zoro which person on the ship had pretty much destroyed his pillow. Following that note, I asked where that foul-scented Marimo was. _Probably sleeping at Merry's stern_, the long-nose guessed. Choosing his tart, Usopp left the other for me as he was supposed to. I nodded when I saw his choice before making my way back up the ladder with the remaining platter on my head.

When I reached the deck, there was no one to be seen and only the wind to be heard. Hopelessly, I tried not to let my mind wander as I stepped southward. _Please_, my thoughts rang pitifully, _Luffy cannot have really chosen Zoro._ They must have crashed into each other and struggled to untangle themselves for quite a while. Luffy might have fallen while fishing and Zoro was just in time to catch him before he went overboard. If only anything I could imagine could instantly turn into truth.

Prior to turning the corner, I remembered the two tarts were still on my head. Taking the platter into my unwavering hands, my heart hardened. If my worst fears were correct, I would not let them have the satisfaction of romantically being together. With a quick breath, I rounded the bend and glared downward.

Zoro was there, and so was Luffy. As I approached the couple sitting against the wall of my kitchen, the shitty swordsman turned his head to scowl at me. He held a finger to his lips and motioned with the other hand to stop walking. _Leave the snack there_, his murmur was demanding,_ then go away_. I kept strolling until I got to him and then crouched slowly, taking one plate from my tray and placing it next to his knee, just out of reach. I could not help but smirk in despair as I got a whiff of Zoro's scent. Upon the muscular body, a sweetness turned slightly sharp clung to his original stench. My heart gave out that day and I couldn't have stopped it.

_You damn Marimo_, I grumbled,_ you could have been nice enough to wake him up for his favorite time of the afternoon_. I did not dare gaze into the face I was talking to, scared that what I might have seen would be a victorious grin. _Well, he's had a tiring day today_, came a weary sigh._ Something this morning took all of his energy, so he's sleeping now_. I crouch-shuffled to Luffy's open side while the man my age was talking. Even though his bangs had slipped into an odd mess covering his forehead, I didn't have the nerve to touch the angelic visage. All I could do was watch the slumbering face of my captain, resting on the shoulder of his first mate. Not a bit of me had the courage to accomplish anything but the plan my heart had devised. I set the second tart under my beloved's dear straw hat. The idea was to keep it out of that day's hot sun, but Zoro thought different.

_What the hell are you doing trying to hide the fact you changed your mind, Ero Smoke? I'm right here you know_. _He told me you said he'd be snack-less no matter what today_, the green-haired man whispered accusingly,_ I thought I'd have to end up sharing_. That is what my jealousy had been waiting for. I stood up, a winner with a terrible triumph that overruled my heart's wish. That was correct; Zoro would not have to share his tart with Luffy. I had accidentally almost given them a chance to have a romantic time with one of my foods. Their saliva could have mixed from taking turns spooning down the fruits I had glazed, but I had stopped it. Yet, I could not shake the fact that their scents were spreading to equilibrium. I could halt a small physical fantasy, but was helpless to end a looming invisible reality. That unbeatable fact made me turn pessimistic with my next words, even if I felt like I had succeeded. _What, are you not hungry for my amazing fruit tart, asshole? I spent a lot of time making them for Nami-swan and this shitty crew, so you better enjoy them_, I spat sardonically. The Marimo shook his head as much as he could without jarring the sound sleeper on his shoulder. He didn't seem to get it.

Honestly, Luffy's snack represented me. Even though I had denied handing it over hours before, I still ended up giving him the tart. I would continue to be there for him, even if my being present contradicted and made a fool of me in front of others. Right by his side, under the important hat, the snack sat. I am also hidden; close enough to be part of his everyday, yet not significant enough to be given any more thought than a midday tart. Zoro has never understood that depressing feeling.

_It's just that in his morning's stupid antics, Luffy took most of my energy and I want it back by tonight_, the swordsman yawned casually. Trying hard to focus on the fact Zoro had midnight watch, I staggered a few steps as if wounded. I took the hit even if it was not an actual attack. There was no reason for him to insinuate anything with his words. After all, I am a natural ladies' man, not a desperate love-struck homo.

Walking away with the empty platter under my arm, I had to have one last glimpse. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Zoro put his arm around Luffy's shoulder and pull him slightly closer. Gritting my teeth, I stopped in the kitchen to drop off the tray and light up.

The smoke from my cigarette calmed my nerves and filled my lungs as I sat on the bench, staring at Merry's steering stick. The ship could carry us from one island to the next, always as a group. Together, we would travel the Grand Line and all reach our initial dreams under Captain Luffy's leadership. Clearly, any wishes I formed on the way to All Blue were bound to fail. Eventually, we gained more crewmembers, but that day I imagined the five of us making our tracks across the seas toward multiple destinations. If we ever have a final goal as the Straw Hat Pirates, I still don't know what it will be. No matter what, I'll still have to watch those two.

When the aroma of burning tobacco was thick in the air, I left the kitchen door open to let the fresh breeze take away all the smells of the day. I padded along the side of the ship for a while, at one point tossing my cigarette into the smooth waves. The water ate it before I turned to join Usopp in the bunks. Sometimes I wonder if my leftover stubs are a disgusting mystery meal for some unlucky fish. That day, I had a feeling it was probably just a deathly poisonous snack.

_I didn't eat your tart_, Usopp stated as another metal marble pounded the pillow and bounced off. I was glad to see he meant mine specifically; his plate was perfectly cleaned of all food. Asking if he enjoyed it, I grabbed a clean spoon and searched for a place to start. _Yeah_, was his answer, _the mikan pieces were especially good_. _We can thank Nami-swan for that_, I mumbled through a mouthful of my day's masterpiece. It was saccharine and tangy, refreshing to the tongue and easy on the teeth. The pastry was baked to a soft, yet resistant to breaking, perfection that went well with all the fruits I had chosen, especially the mikan. The citrus flavor stood out the most, probably because it was the only fresh thing I worked with. Bursting with a vigor that overwhelmed the taste buds, I was reminded of Luffy's aura.

_Such an exhilarating person,_ I thought to myself, _deserves such a naturally amazing vibe_. I called to mind the excited tint his aura had when he came to my kitchen to ask for a feast. How much brighter his rubber form had seemed to appear at that time. So stunning, however, I had been more focused on his scent. The sweet and the bitter slowly swirling together to form a bond… I realized my mistake.

The tart did not represent me. It was a selfish idea that had blotted out the truth I knew. Why had I denied Luffy getting his snack in the first place?

My spoon dropped to the floorboards as I fell backwards onto the couch I knew was waiting behind me. Usopp turned to see what the clattering noise was, noticing I was no longer standing. Suddenly, he was running towards me, yelling frantically probably because of my expression. I didn't move. There was nothing I could do except stare up at the ceiling that hid the blue sky.

For minutes, I searched inside my soul to figure out which part of me had ended up giving Luffy the snack. My rage wanted Zoro dead and out of the picture. My jealousy wanted to tie Luffy up and keep him to myself. My distress wanted to pretend that day was all a lovesick nightmare. My depression crouched alone, holding pieces of something in its hands. When I gazed deeper into my mind, I saw my heart, shattered beyond repair. I knew why my heart was dead, and when exactly it had died. The moment when I placed Luffy's hat over the tart he was not supposed to have received. My heart had attempted to accept the fact that the dear captain did not love Sanji in the least. It had failed and lay broken in the arms of my depression, the main emotion to know the bitter pain of failing to make desires more than fantasies.

Yet, even as my depression cried, my eye did not shed a tear for Usopp to see. Though my heart had perished, I was not dead. I hunted my spirit intensely for an explanation. A small beat came from the hands of my cowardice. It held a frail shape that was supposedly a newborn heart. This tiny thing filled my mind with only the wish to understand the person I loved most: to grasp the reason Luffy had chosen Zoro over me so soon. I wonder now which emotions nurtured my new heart to stray from the main track it had been set to follow.

Usopp watched as I blinked my eye. I hadn't noticed it had been closed, but the light of the cabin was too bright and made me squint. _I thought for sure you died_, Usopp shuddered,_ I checked your heartbeat and it wasn't there_. I smiled as he pointed to the right side of my chest. _You're an idiot_, my voice whispered. I would have said more, but a commotion came falling down the ladder from above.

Zoro hit the floor with a thud and lay stunned from the impact of being thrown there. Luffy landed on top of his back as he jumped quickly into the room. _Sanji, Sanji, are you okay?_ my captain asked. _Usopp was screaming you died and…_ Stumbling off of Zoro's back, he dashed to my side. I smiled as he took my hand and held it to his red vest. Under the cloth, his body was so warm and comforting that I wished it were mine to do whatever I pleased. But I held back any words or actions I could have done; my new heart was content to see that its predecessor had been wrong. Luffy did care about Sanji. Maybe not as much as Sanji loved Luffy, but I always thought that would be fixed with time.

_Hey_, I voiced while turning my gaze to the rubber boy that was mumbling something about my not being dead,_ do you still want that feast_? Luffy peered down at me with a bewildered expression before the chipper aura from before surrounded us all. _Ou!_ he cheered, my hand dropping from his grasp as he threw up his arms in excitement. Usopp tried to remind both of us that we didn't have enough foodstuffs to do so. _But it's a big day_, I remarked straight to Luffy's heart as I picked myself up, _right, Luffy_? He didn't have a chance to react in an embarrassed manner because Zoro asked, _How so_?

That night, we had a regular meal followed by three servings of dessert. My nose was filled with the aroma of tapioca pudding, the sharp smell of rum cake, and the rich fragrance of peppermint hot cocoa. Above all the foods, there was one more odor that tickled my senses. The new tart perfume, just a bit more on the sweet side, had me aspiring to understand what I was missing. That day the scents were first mixed, I wondered if I could ever get used to the new bond it represented that I was not a part of.

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><p>Notes:<br>* "Sanji" in Japanese is "Three o'clock"  
>** "Mikan" in Japanese is "Tangerine"<p>

KittyLuffy: Even though ZoLu is my love, I feel really bad for Sanji... *teary-eyed* WHY?  
>Kaya: Me too. Please leave comments for us!<br>KittyLuffy: And also if there are ideas anyone has for some of Sanji's memories, I am pretty open. Otherwise, _NATURAL BODY_ is probably a random fic I won't really update.  
>Kaya: It could be something big with your help, readers.<br>Usopp: Is that a sales pitch I hear?


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